ChaCha Query: My boyfriend’s moving away, how can we make our relationship work?

Distance is hard on even the best relationships.  The biggest issue is you both have to be equally committed to making this relationship work.  Plan visits as often as you can.  Talk to each other as much as you can.  My husband moved 5 hours away about 4 months into our relationship.  It was hard, but I drove down to see him, or he drove up to see me just about every other weekend.  It wasn’t a hassle; it was something we both looked forward to.  You have to figure out what works for both of you and stick to it!

Try these things:

• When in town for a visit, leave little notes around for your boyfriend to find while you are apart.
• Send a written letter or a card every once in awhile.
• Try web cam chats so you can see each other.
• Stay out of trouble! Meaning, don’t put yourself in positions where you could do anything to jeopardize your relationship.
• Don’t go crazy! Keep busy with friends or hobbies when not together.

You also have to understand that things come up.  Your boyfriend may have something going on one weekend that he can’t get out of, or you may have something you need to attend as well.  Plan around it and don’t start over analyzing things.  Your head can start to play games with you.  If you know you are in a good relationship you have to trust your boyfriend, and he has to trust you.  You will go crazy if you try to read too much into everything.  It’s easy to get carried away with all of the things that can happen while you two are apart.

At the same time, understand if making a huge effort becomes too much for either of you, the relationship may not be strong enough to make it.  It’s just a fact, distance can either bring you two closer together, or it can pull you apart.  Talk about it before he moves and know, it’s not guaranteed to work, but you can both try your hardest.  Good luck!